wisdom taken from another blog

How deeply we show our complete lack of comprehension of the Gospel, when we think a parenting method can achieve obedient Christ-loving children. If that’s all it takes, then there is certainly no need for the Cross of Christ.

Connie's Story

Hello. My name is Connie and I was at Hephzibah House from Oct or Nov 1980 to July 1983. I currently am involved with Foster Parenting/Adoption and have worked closely with The Department of Child Services. I have read a lot of the postings and been through the sites online. I feel it is my time to write my experiences and hopefully bring some insight to help those still there.

I came from a rather good home. At the time, you don’t see or even understand some of the things you go through, but you do learn from them. I was the youngest of three girls. My next to oldest sister was what my parents called “a bad influence” on me. We ran around together quite frequently. My parents’ biggest concern for me was I was going to turn out like her. They also did not like the boyfriend I had at the time. So, they thought if I went to another place then I would not be able to ruin my life.

I really did not think I was that bad of a child to have gone through this even though I do believe my parents did what they thought they had to do at the time. I also know that if they had known all of this they would not have sent me. I do believe it has done some damage along the way and I am not sure it will ever be overcome. At the time and quite some time after that I really never stopped to think that it was child abuse. Probably because it was not much different than the home life I came from.

I was confronted about going to a girl’s home where I could come home for Christmas, Thanksgiving, and 2 weeks in the summer. I asked for how long. They said for 15 months. I said okay, not knowing what I was in for at the time. My parents, I do believe, had good intentions.

The night before I left, my father and I had a disagreement. My father was abusive. He used the belt as well as his hands on us girls. You only spoke when you were spoken to and you always did what he said no matter if you agreed or not. You were never to voice your opinion or even question things. After the disagreement, I had a black eye, busted knee, and bruises.

I must put in that my father has since passed away. He ended up being a GREAT man that I looked up to. He admitted that he did us girls wrong and apologized. He tried to make it up with the grandkids. He was and always will be my best friend.

My father, mother and I made the trip to Winona Lake. We had stopped at a restaurant for breakfast/lunch. We then went to the School House location where I would spend the rest of my time. We went in to what was called “the blue room”. Little did I know that was where all the paddling would occur. They went through my suitcases and took out almost everything my parents had sent saying I could not have it. My parents left and I was then taken upstairs to the “big dorm” where I would live for the moment. I had to go into a closet to change into the uniform assigned. I was then taken downstairs where lunch was being served before going over to the Pierceton Road location for school. I told them I had already eaten, but they insisted I eat and gave me a bowl of soup. I was only able to eat part of it. I was ready to get sick. But, since I did not eat it all, it was put in the refrigerator and I had to eat it cold for supper. Everything that was given to us for breakfast, lunch, or supper had to be eaten at that time or we would get it for the next meal cold. There were no excuses.

I could write for days on all the stuff that happened and how things went, but that would be a book. I remember a lot of things about Hephzibah House. The cleaning and inspection of our chores was definitely white glove. Demerits we received for not being good or doing things wrong. After so many demerits, you got paddled if you could not get them down. You could not be in the hallway with any other students. You always had to yell “coming through” if you were going through the hallway or “going down” if you were going downstairs. We as well had the BM chart that others have talked about. All our calls were screened. All our visits were screened. We did not have talk lists. We could not talk to any other students. Discussions of home, location, and phone numbers were not allowed at all.

The first time I ran around the Pierceton Road location for gym, I thought I was going to die. My asthma medicine was returned home. Later that night I had an asthma attack and could not breathe. I told the staff I needed my inhaler. I was told I didn’t need it and would be fine. I could not breathe and had a hard time catching my breath.

One time I got paddled because I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth and another student said I had to go downstairs. Because I finished brushing my teeth, I got in trouble for being disobedient. The paddling was done in what they called “the blueroom”. Our upper body was held down by one staff, the feet were held by another staff, and one staff paddled. I would be safe to say the paddle was approximately one-two inches thick and about 12 inches long. I got paddled quite frequently. I remember getting paddled about 22 times one time. It hurt to sit down and I had bruises. I do not remember why I got that one or the one I got on my 16th birthday. Eventually I got the hang of the rules and life was not so bad.

We went out to a Smorgasbord place a couple of times. If you got sick, you got paddled. I never got sick, but I sure did stuff myself with the ice cream, chocolate, and junk food that we were not allowed having at all. I do remember a couple times that someone got sick and you could hear them getting paddled from the small dorm room. The blueroom was right underneath it. If your bed was in the small dorm, you could hear the students screaming.

I also remember a student finally getting taken to the hospital. She was sick for awhile. Actually, it seemed like days. If I remember correctly, they finally took her after her urine turned green. They did end up having to do exploratory surgery on her and when she was better, she came right back instead of going home.

I remember getting letters from my parents. And right before I left to go home, I found out that both my sisters had children. I was not told because neither one of them were married. The children were about 6 months old by the time I found out. The letter I was to get telling me that was held and did not pass. We had to watch everything we said in our letters, on the phone, and visits. They were always supervised. My parents had gotten me a radio/cassette player as a graduation present. I received it the day I left.

I also have to comment on the cockroaches at the School House location. It was a game. They were a dime a dozen. I guess it was because the house was built on a cockroach farm. After church, when the lights went on, we would see how many we could kill.

We worked in the garden constantly. Our work was checked to make sure all the weeds were pulled. If not, we had to redo the work, no matter how long it took. I do not remember being allowed bathroom breaks until we were done. Eventually I was put on Kagins crew. We shoveled manure-chicken and horse. We did most of the heavy labor. If I remember correctly there were 5 of us. We missed out a lot on the happenings at the house because we would get home late. Even so, we were constantly under supervision.

I also want to mention the concern of not having a period for the whole 34 months I was there even though I had a normal one before I got there and got a normal one again about a month after I left.

I remember the bath time to be 15 minutes total, from going in to coming out. I also remember every Sunday morning inspection. Your nails were checked to make sure you were not biting them and your hair was checked to make sure it was curled. I had a terrible problem of biting my nails. I remember getting paddled for it as well as demerits. I did not have to worry about my hair curling because 2 rollers always curled my hair, but I remember those girls that had straight hair and no matter what they did, their hair just would not hold a curl.

I remember every day except Sunday we were required to memorize a verse in the Bible. Each week we would have to recite what we learned back to a staff member. That got to be quite tedious after one year etc. If we did not know them, we did get demerits and sometimes paddling. I had a shoe box packed full of index cards of them.

When my parents mentioned me coming home for about 2 weeks before I went to College at a college Pastor Williams recommended, I was treated terrible. I was not able to speak to any girls or even say bye. I was separated from them. Pastor Williams did not even say goodbye. Even though I had been there 34 months, he still did not think I was ready to go home. My belongings were already packed and when my mother showed up, I was pretty much shoved out the door. Pastor Williams did not figure I would end up at College. When I did show up, two other students were there as well. They took awhile to talk to me because Pastor Williams told them I was not a good influence on them and they should stay away from me.

I always looked up to Pastor Williams and his family. Mrs. Kagin was the best. She seemed to understand us girls more than some of the other staff. I always felt a connection with Miss Emery, but you still had to watch what you said. But, I always felt since I left that I was never good enough and some of the things that have happened in my life was because of me not being good enough. I went and seen Pastor Williams when he came to a church near me to tell them about Hephzibah House. He did talk to me, but he never acknowledged me as being a former student to anyone in the congregation. It was like he was ashamed of me.

I did carry some of the repetition forward. When we washed dishes, it was cups, plates, silverware, pots and pans. They had to be dried perfectly or we got them back. Even one little drop of water was not acceptable. To this day when I wash dishes, it is cups, plates, bowls, pots and pans. I also have a “neat freak” problem. When I clean, it is just not clean enough and really gets me frustrated. I have tried to break these things, but have had no luck.

I think the hardest part of all this for me is the fact that I stayed so long, graduated, and went to the college Pastor Williams chose and still got rejected when I left. I did everything I was told to do, but because I did not stay for long after graduation and because my parents requested me home, I got humiliated and condemned. I did not have Pastor Williams blessing when I left. That disappointed me because I looked up to this godly man for so long and he did not even have time to say goodbye. He just had them pack my stuff, keep me from everyone else, and send me on my way. He also told other girls going to the same college that I probably would not show, but if I did, I would be trouble and I was not godly.

I may not be godly according to his standards, but I will say the good Lord has walked with me and helped me through all the hard times in my life. I know this because without Him and His assistance, I probably would not have survived through it. I am older now and do recognize things more, but I still believe that the good Lord has been with me all this time and when I make mistakes it does not mean I am going to Hell.

alicia sanders-wagner statement

My name is Alicia Wagner formerly it was Alicia Sanders.My stay at HH is hard to talk about. I do not have as many memories as you would think I would. My mind has tried to block out most of it. I can only recall probably 40% of what went on there. I do not remember most of the girl’s names. The 4 names I do remember I was able to get in contact with later through searching on the internet.. I was there from about 1998-2000.
I remember that I was told I was being taken on a family trip that summer. (Many of the girls were told this and the pastor there once admitted to telling the parents to tell us that to get us to cooperate for the car ride.) I did find out through my sister that I was not being taken on a family trip minutes before leaving. Had I known the place I was going to be taken I would have run away but at the time I had no idea. My home life was not much to talk about at the time so as much as I screamed I didn’t want to go I thought to myself well it couldn’t be much worse. It was much worse. I was no longer being given the” rod of god” by my mother but I might as well have been. I was never given a bruise or a beating while I was there but the fear and brain washing I received will always be a part of my life. The bruises fade, some memories fade, but the impact and black cloud the experience has on my life will never go away no matter how hard I try.
I wake up 3-4 times a month with horrible nightmares that I am locked up somewhere and can’t get out. The dreams are so real. I often wake up trying to catch my breath. My months at HH affect my every day life as well. I am very much a people person yet I find it hard to truly trust anyone. I have a constant struggle with how I perceive God. I often have spouts of depression when I think of this place. I have seen a therapist who has stated that I have had depression from this place. She has pointed out many signs in my life of depression from this place that I wasn’t even aware I had.

I will start from the day I arrived and give you as many memories that I have left of the place.
So back to the beginning I was told I was being taken on a family trip I was taken by my mom’s friend and my mom. We arrived at the place and the sons of the Pastor there came out as soon as we pulled up to get the bags out of the car. I was escorted by the pastor into the house. My first thought was the way the people dressed. It was very much like in the pilgrim days. This didn’t bother me much as it was not too different than the way I was raised to dress. As soon as we got there the first discussion was money. My mom gave the pastor some money and he said it wasn’t enough and she said that his dad (the head pastor) had told her she would get a discount. He stated he would talk to his dad about it. I felt like a piece of meat being sold. They were bargaining over how much they needed to take me and my mom was paying to get me off of her hands. I have never in my life felt so unwanted as I did in that moment. I have never felt more abandoned or of less worth than I felt on that day. I truly can say I felt as if I had no one. It is such a horrible feeling to have no one. Not a soul to go to. I had never been so alone and I pray I never will again. I was told to say goodbye to my mother as if I was going to thank her for taking me there or something. I told her I would never forgive if she left me there and that promise I have kept. I was taken downstairs and told to take off all my clothes in front of two staff members. It was almost as if I had been admitted to jail. Although , at the time I wouldn’t have known much about jail. I had never seen a drug, never tasted alcohol., never seen porn or used bad language. I had a boyfriend that my mom did not approve of and that was the reason for me being there. Not really sure what 16 year old boyfriends any moms approve of but this was just the sin of all sins in my family. After I stripped I was told to get in the shower and wash really hard. I was told afterwards this is custom when a new girl gets there to wash the sin off of her upon entering. I was told when I got out that I would never be able to use a hair dryer or makeup or any hair supplies as long as I was there so not to bother asking. I was dressed in a very itchy old uniform. My mother had paid for cullotes to be made for me. She was told the pastor’s daughter would sew some for me. I was given instead some old bleached stained form of a skirt. That had been used by many past student. After entering there I was never again to look the same. Never could I pretend to like something about myself and I really didn’t have to pretend. I could never so much as get the tangles out of my hair. I never wore anything (expect to church or my uniform to school, that didn’t have huge bleach stains on them. I was told that my mother had told the staff that I had an eating disorder so I was never given small or half portions upon my arrival. I was told I had to eat heaping amounts of food. The first week there I would throw up after every meal. If I did not eat my whole meal I was given it at the next meal. If I did not eat my fish for supper I was given it in the morning to eat cold right out of the fridge I had to eat it as well as my breakfast and it would just keep adding up and getting more old every day that I couldn’t finish. We only had a small amount of time to eat our meals so food was swallowed never eaten. We were only allowed to talk to our assigned talking buddies at the table if a staff member was present so talking really didn’t happen as the few minutes we had to eat were spent shoveling food in so that we didn’t have to eat it cold the next morning. Some girls did not get to eat at all if they were being punished. This was hard especially on days we had to work very hard outside. We were sometimes given jobs that grown men should have been doing. I remember a particular day having to break up rock with shovels and load the rock into the back of a truck. The rocks were huge many girls were crying from trying to lift the rocks. The pastor’s wife (about 150 pounds over weight) would stand on the balcony of her house and yell at us that we were lazy and needed to work harder. She often did this when we would do our daily exercises also. She would correct us in our format. I was not allowed to talk to anyone but one person for many months and like I said that was only at the dinner table if a staff member was present. I had to read the rule book weekly. It told us what we could and cold not say on the phone or in letters home. My phone calls were timed and monitored by someone on another phone sitting 1 foot away from me. Everything I said was written down in a book by the staff lady listening to the conversation. I was always warned before the phone call that If I said anything wrong the phone call would be disconnected and I would not get a phone call for a few months. We only got to talk to our parents for 10 minutes once a month on a Sunday. I was only allowed to see my mother once I believe my whole stay there. My meeting with my family ended horrible as I was told I was giving to much eye contact to my sister. I was brought down to the basement and in front of all the students scorned and told that I am the reason that they would not be able to have siblings come to see them anymore. They were told that from now on only the parents could visit them in these meetings. I believe they were allowed to visit for 3 hours in the conference room once every 3 months with a staff member present at all times. I felt so horrible not because I had gotten in trouble but because I would never do anything to make the stay harder for any one else there. I had let my girls down and I felt as though I would never be able to make it up to them. Of course I could not tell them I was sorry or anything of the sort. There was no form of love shown. No one could touch or show emotion. I was a walking puppet for fear I do anything to be punished. Punishment was given out hourly. I tried to blend in and never say anything. I tried to always act happy although the inside of me was screaming.. We had to write down when we pooped and how big or small it was and if it was not what the staff thought it should be were where given castor oil and phsyillium seed. If we had a period ( I did for some of the months there) we were to show the staff member our pad before throwing it away. Not really sure the reasoning behind that. If we went a day without pooping we had to show the staff member our bowel movement before we could flush. There was no such thing as any privacy or self respect. It was non existent. I really put everything I had into my school work it was my escape and my hope to finish early and leave. I did stay 2 months longer than 15 months because I was 2 months short of being done with school. My mother was not told I was done with my school work until 2 weeks after I had graduated (or finished my courses) I was forced to sit in a cubicle and read a book since my studies were through. Humiliation was often a way to punish us. I made A and B honor roll all throughout my schooling there. One time I failed a history test and Patty had me stand in front of the school and say that I was selfish for failing this test and when I asked her why I had to say this she said because I didn’t care a damn about anyone if I did I would have memorized the dates of the war because I would have cared about those people that died there. I remember having horrible migraines while I was there and I was never given any medicine not even so much as an advil. My migraines were so bad I would often throw up from the pain. I was told to lay in bed and my meals were taken from me. If I wasn’t better in 24 hours I had to repeat the same thing for the next 24 hours even if I was feeling better in the next 12. I remember a new student coming in and screaming and banging to get out she yelled I cannot live hear I cannot be like those robots. They are robots they are robots can you not see that!!!! It hit me like a slap in the face. That is exactly what I am a robot. But as fast as it hit me I reminded myself – but I have no other choice. We had to line up to go to the bathroom and wait our turn for our stall to open. We could never just go to the restroom when we wanted it was when the staff member wanted to take us all. I remember a couple of girls being forced to wear depends because they could not wait for the next bathroom break and since the staff members would not let them go they would wet themselves. One girl was forced to wear depends every day to school and and to church. All of her underwear were taken from her. I remember being so afraid that I would maybe be that person one day. She was such a normal person when she came in just like me. But now she was wearing depends and crying all of the time almost as if she turned into a crazy person. I use to pray every night that God would keep me sane. Speaking of God he was used to scare us. He was a god of judgment and wrath; He was never portrayed as a god of love unless they were talking about the fact that he so lovingly died for our sins. That is the only time god and love were used in the same sentence. I was never beaten but I know of a girl that was taken upstairs and given the rod of god while I was there. I did not see what happened but I know that it did. My sister use to send me about 20.00 per month to use on books or school socks. I was never given any of this money. I once asked if I could buy some chewable vitamin C from the pantry since I had a horrible cold. I was told I had no money in my account. We were where constantly reminded how much it cost to keep us there and how grateful we should be and that our parents only paid 1/4th of what it cost to keep us there. I remember cleaning a warehouse they had there. It was filled with shelves from top to bottom of gifts given to the home. Pots and pan in boxes not even opened so many things that would never be used that someone could be using in this warehouse. We were never given good food unless it was a birthday. We were forced to drink moldy orange juice, powdered milk still warm, old cereal all dumped together no matter what kind. We often had to open cans of food with no labels and dump them all in a pot and that was supper. I remember one a girl found a big green hairy worm in her salad we had picked they forced her to eat it. She started throwing it up and it became a huge debate that some of the staff thought she should have to eat the portion she threw up also and some thought she should just have to finish the worm. The plate had to be taken upstairs so patty could determine what portion of the plate she had to finish. She had to finish eating the worm but not the part she threw up. Were where told this would happen if we did not clean our lettuce good enough. We lived in constant fear. We were never allowed to leave – not for a wedding or a funeral – never. We were taught that men are superior to obey them no matter what. To never disrespect them. We were told not to talk in the presence of a man unless asked a question. It was very much a place of mind control (brain washing). I would never wish anyone to go there. I have left so much out but I really wish to not remember most of it.

I have written this against the advice of many. I was told there is no point in it it would only make me remember bad things and for a stranger I don’t even know. My instant response was I want to do it because it is the right thing to do. But after much thought if we don’t do this for the strangers that are going there now or might go there later who will? It won’t be the people that send them there. It won’t be the family and friends at home because most of them have no idea where the student has been taken. If we don’t do it no one will. Not only that but these aren’t strangers we are HH sisters. I live for the day that this place will be shut down. I think only that would make me feel the weight lifted off of me. How can a place like this exist in America. How can it not be against the law to lock someone in a basement for months on end with no outside communication and no crime committed. They are abusing girls in the name of God and that is unforgivable. I feel as though not family, not a best friend, no one could every truly understand me. And they never really could unless they went to a place like this and woke up every single morning broken hearted because it wasn’t just a nightmare. Every morning feeling sick because you have to live another day after day after day in the basement. People can say they understand but they really can’t. They have not lived it. Only us girls truly understand. We will always feel close for that reason. My testimony is open to anyone and I will answer any questions anyone has about this place.

Biblical Faith: Genuine or Counterfiet

By Cult Pastor Williams

In the deepening apostasy in which we are living, there are myriads of counterfeit forms of true religion. These seductive forms of fraudulent religion saw their seminal forms as early as the antediluvian Patriarchs, but have prodigiously multiplied and expanded in these last days.

Whereas pristine, New Testament Christianity drew a sharp contrast between an unregenerate and regenerate life, these last days have witnessed a shallow facsimile of true faith, emphasizing hollow forms, attractive externals, and self-satisfying activities and works. These empty shells of supposed faith have produced adherents who cannot always be easily distinguished from the world.

Satanic Murder
Satanic attacks on genuine faith were murderous during the early centuries of the church. Successive Roman emperors were assiduous in persecuting the early church, and multitudes of believers were tortured, imprisoned, enslaved and executed. Many of these executions were barbarous, purposefully done to shock and terrify.

Satanic Mixture
However, Satanic attacks are not always so bloody and murderous, but take on a sinister character of distortion, error and mixture. This phenomenon has predominated in modern centuries in the Western world and has produced a weak, vapid church, devoid of power, salt and light.

Many historic Christian denominations are illustrative of this latter-day Satanic dilution of purity. Sometimes called "modernism" or "liberalism," this movement has so completely left its moorings of Biblical orthodoxy, that it has in reality become a mortal enemy of Biblical faith. These groups are predominantly represented in the National Council of Churches and World Council of Churches.

What a startling aberration to see supposed religious guides in these groups promoting the acceptance of Sodomy, abortion, women pastors, serial marriages, socialism and other positions antithetical to Biblical faith. To these spiritually blind religious leaders, the Bible is quaint Jewish history, a commentary of ethics and morals, but not the authoritative Word of the Living God! These charlatans are a living illustration of Paul's words: "Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away" (2 Tim. 3:5).

It does not take great discernment to see the duplicity and hypocrisy of these religious frauds. They in many ways are the modern counterpart of the religious hierarchy who became the implacable, bitter enemies of the Lord Jesus in the days of His earthly ministry. So has it been since God revealed Himself to man; a large segment of humanity seizes on the husk and shell of religion, never being animated by its life-giving, soul-changing core of revealed truth. But way of contrast, a small remnant of souls, regenerated by guileless, whole-hearted acceptance of God's truth and person, became the objects of scorn, hatred and ridicule from the larger unregenerate majority.

When our Lord Jesus posed the enigmatic question: "...when the Son of man cometh, shall He find faith on the earth?" (Luke 18:8), the clear implication is that "the faith" will be an endangered species, and will be relatively rare.

Enormous Buildings - Empty Souls
In this light, consider the contemporary "church growth movement." Many churches have been seduced by the siren call of mass marketing, "contemporary services," "charismatic gifts," strobe lights, contemporary music, rock music, plays, dances, ballets, etc., all to secure as large a crowd as possible. But at what price? To shamelessly pander to the lower nature of man and titillate his sensual, carnal nature is an affront to a Holy God! One may well fill Laodicean Crystal Cathedrals and enormous multi-plexes with teeming masses, and assuage their conscience with religious dramas, emotional "worship" services and superficial, psychological "feel good" messages, but to what eternal good?

Rather than being confronted with the holiness of the eternal God and the absolute wretched, depraved nature of my heart, I will leave such services with a mollified conscience. I would be satisfied that I have been "religious," and have "worshiped God," while at the same time living in satisfaction with my unregenerate, carnal life.

Foibles in Fundamentalism
Authentic believers are right to look with disdain on such worldly methods and New Evangelical compromises. But what of our own ranks? Through our own compromises with truth and God's righteous standards, have we not filled our auditoriums with a mixed multitude?

Satan's incremental, insidious ploys are manifold and diverse. He is not only active in deceiving the liberal, the New Evangelical and the proponent of modern church growth, but the Fundamentalist as well.

The earnest saint of 100 years ago would be scandalized to attend worship at many of our modern churches! Compromise in dress, music, "Christian liberties," worship methods, etc., would horrify the saint of the last century. He would blink in unbelief at evangelists, missionaries, deacons and even pastors who are not only tolerated, but enthusiastically accepted in those sacred offices though they are divorced and remarried, or who have married a divorced woman. He would wince in moral anguish at Pastors who do not pay their bills, who have tempers as flammable as gasoline, who have become Sultans instead of Shepherds, or who have purposely encouraged a cult of personality and hero-worship.

Through an emphasis on "love" and "acceptance," behavior that would have caused church discipline decades ago is now tolerated. In fact, our understanding of true Biblical love and the holiness and purity God enjoins is so shallow and superficial, that any church leader who insists on church discipline today is considered mean-spirited, hateful and unloving, rather than being commended and supported. By such compromise, "love and acceptance" have been emptied of their Biblical meaning, and it has become "sloppy agape." Paul's admonition is still meaningful: "and ye are puffed up, and have not rather mourned, that he that hath done this deed might be taken away from you" (1 Cor. 5:2). The holiness and purity of God's church is just as important to Him now as it was in the first century, popular opinion notwithstanding.

Evidence, Not Words - Lessons From Dogs And Pigs
That words alone are cheap ought to be self-evident, but this is certainly emphasized by Scripture: "For if after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through knowledge of the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, they are again entangled therein, and overcome, the latter end is worse with them than the beginning. For it had been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than, after they have known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered unto them. But it is happened unto them according to the true proverb, The dog is turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire." (2 Pet. 2:20-22).

In this case, Peter uses the example of religious teachers who, though they be learned, intellectual and silver-tongued, were never truly born again of the Spirit of God. In their case, as is true of many, their "latter end" (1 Pet. 2:20) revealed their true nature and unregenerate character. In a readily comprehended lesson from nature, Peter explains that though a dog or swine be ever so trained, cleaned, dressed with the finest of external furbishments, they will both eventually regress to behavior characteristic of their true nature.

Satan Loves a Vacuum

Our Lord uses another striking figure to describe the false confessor: "When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh through dry places, seeking rest, and findeth none. Then he saith, I will return into my house from whence I came out; and when he is come, he findeth it empty, swept, and garnished. Then goeth he, and taketh with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter in and dwell there: and the last state of that man is worse than the first. Even so shall it be also unto this wicked generation." (Matt. 12:43-45). Some have denominated this man as the "formal hypocrite," the life in whom the devil still maintains a vested interest. In such a life, "the unclean spirit has gone out" but this is temporary, because he was not loosed or cast out by means of genuine conversion.

The sweeping of a broom may remove large objects of contamination much as 'reformation" may rid a man of obvious sinful habits, but the putrid filth of original sin and a fallen nature remains though external garnishments and adornments of self-control attempt to beautify. Judas Iscariot did this. He feigned a confession of belief, lived a life externally consistent with that of a disciple, sweeping with the broom as it were, but never purging the leprosy of his heart. Common gifts and graces can be true of sons of perdition who are possessed of character: Pharaoh respected Moses, Balaam desired to do well, Cyrus made many good decisions and Pharisees had many commendable habits, but the true house of their life was never surrendered to Christ or inhabited by the Spirit.

The Consummate Hypocrite
Consider the final estate of the hypocrite (1 Pet. 2:26). The show, facade and shadow of false profession will ultimately be revealed and manifested. Powers of darkness enter in because they are welcomed; no difficulty or opposition is encountered. As one teacher explains, there they dwell, work and rule. The cloak of a visible, but false profession is finally removed through open sin that heretofore was secret and hidden in heart and mind. The breathtaking betrayal of Judas is a living portrayal of this principle. Though a constant companion of our Lord, and in intimate, fraternal fellowship with sincere disciples for three years, the house of his heart was only swept and garnished.

His cold-blooded, heinous betrayal of the Lamb of God is the last chapter of his hypocritical life. His horrible physical death as awful as it was is not to be compared to his last estate: eternal perdition.

A Mixed Multitude
In these perilous times, many tares are growing with the wheat. This is one explanation for the carnality, worldliness and compromise in fundamental churches. Viewed in this light, one can more readily understand the intractable and unteachable spirits of many professors, their resistance to pastoral authority and the call of God to lead a holy, separated life. Why are some who name the name of Christ leaving churches that are fighting the good fight of faith, and joining a "church" that is perfectly willing to pander to their lower nature? John explains, "They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would no doubt have continued with us: but they went out, that they might be made manifest that they were not all of us." (1 John 2:19). In other words, leaving light and truth in favor of this world is a revelation, a manifestation of a heart devoid of regenerating grace.

Biblical Conversion Yields Total Change
Though we are saved by the grace of God through repentance and faith, we testify to that miraculous, supernatural conversion by a changed life: "we are ... created in Christ Jesus unto good works" (Eph. 2:10). A professor or confessor devoid of a changed life had best be concerned about his soul: "...faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone" (James 2:17); "For as the body without the Spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also" (James 2:26).

Though we are taught by our Lord we would know each other by our fruits (Matt. 7:16), our judgment is imperfect and limited, whereas His is infinite and omniscient. Blatant rebels, who have brazenly cast off the light of truth in favor of a profligate life are not difficult to categorize. About others, where the situation is less egregious, one may have doubts (Judas' testimony was so externally convincing that eleven Jewish men elected him as their treasurer, though he was a secret thief), the Lord helps our judgment by prescribing self-diagnosis: "If we say we have fellowship with him and walk in darkness (habitual sin), we lie, and do not the truth" (1 John 1:6). A sincere, seeking and humble heart will, through spiritual inventory of one's life, see rather clearly his standing with God.

Spiritual Inventory Indicated
This self-diagnosis is not complicated or difficult, and it reveals whether my profession of faith is authentic or spurious: "He that saith I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him" (1 John 2:4). If this phenomenon were not a problem, (lying about my salvation to the satisfaction of myself and others), the Lord would not have included it in the canon. Accordingly, this and related admonitions (1 John 2:9: 1 John 1:6,8,10; 1 John 4:20; James 2:14-16) stand as clarion warnings to self-deceived, self-professed "Christians" who have trusted in a false profession, but have never "turned from their idols to serve the living and true God" (1 Thess. 1:9).

Our Lord's Sober Warning
That obedience to the will of God is crucial and that mere words are often false is highlighted by our Lord in the Sermon on the Mount: "Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven" (Matt. 7:21). Please note that the problem of a false profession is not an insignificant one. Our Lord says "many" (Matt. 7:22) will be self-deceived, as opposed to a few. Incidentally, these pretentious, assuming souls were not saved, then lost, etc., as our Arminian friends would suppose; our Lord says, "I never knew you" (Matt. 7:23).

The Genuine Minority
The authentic believer will be in a distinct minority: "few there be that find it" (Matt. 7:14); he will produce genuine fruit of faith and obedience; ""Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it" (Matt. 7:14); his profession of faith is sincere and life changing (Matt. 7:21-23); and he will be as the wise builder who builds his life of faith and obedience on the rock of Christ and His truth, as opposed to the false professor who builds his life on the sands of self-will and rebellion (Matt. 7:24-27).

On the broad highway of life leading to destruction, there is "rush hour traffic," because most of this world is at war with God. However, on the straight and narrow path leading unto life, the way is daunting and arduous, and the path is lonely and fraught with perils.

Professing friend, if you are in the "main stream," and you blend easily in with this world and its ways, you had best beware of your spiritual condition. If your walk with God is often lonely, you are misunderstood and ridiculed, you sigh and grieve about the sin and degradation of this world, and you yearn for conformity to the image of Christ, be encouraged. This was the lot of the prophets and is your badge of honor (2 Tim. 3:12).

But I want... !

By Cult Pastor Williams

TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR OUR CHILDREN(S)' ACTIONS

Busy shoppers in a grocery are suddenly made aware of a serious altercation between a Mother and her child:

"But I want them!"

"No, Honey, they are filled with sugar and have no food value."

"BUT I WANT THEM!"

As this conflict escalates in intensity and volume, it becomes both embarrassing and frustrating to onlookers who have had their serene shopping experience so rudely interrupted.

Later, as the child in victory over his Mother fills the shopping cart with numerous delicacies as his spoils of domestic war, adult spectators cringe at the young rebel's victory over his mother's will, and shake their heads in grief over what they anticipate for that child's future.

Yet other youngsters are raised in the violent and impoverished home of a drunken parent, whose regular, abusive fits of temper or excess make life a nightmare for every family member. Still others are raised in "modern homes" in which parents have been deceived by various "Pied Pipers" of the social sciences who have encouraged permissiveness and indulgence for their offspring. The rod and reproof would be criticized as Neanderthal, "cave man" parenting, which would produce aggressive tendencies in adulthood.

What can we prognosticate for children of dysfunctional or abusive homes and children of parents who allow their children to grow like weeds? Will they automatically repeat the sins of their incompetent parents? Will they similarly fail as their parents failed? Certainly many will.

Sin Has a Cumulative Effect
Scripture clearly indicates a cumulative effect of sin: "For I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the Fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me" (Exodus 20:5-6, 34:6-7). Assuming no repentance on the part of any family member, a tragic, downward spiral occurs in the offending family, with destructive effects on each generation. In fact, the degrading and escalating effect of sin would guarantee more outlandish sin in each succeeding generation. Whereas in their own personal lives, parents may flirt with the bounds of propriety, sinful sons and daughters will radically move the ancient landmarks set by their fathers with utter disdain for the moral compass and boundaries which their parents only tested.

Any soul of average discernment, and who has lived several generations, can see the degrading, escalating and cumulative effects of sin in our country. But must we automatically expect this sordid outcome? Are we all robots, doomed in a fatalistic, lockstep track from which we cannot extricate ourselves? One would think so as we listen to some believers.

Shifting Blame Is Not New

Many of our girls excuse their sin because of the sins, failures and habits of their parents. But this blame shifting is not new. Adam started it by blaming God for the woman He gave him. Eve joined his refrain and blamed the serpent. Excusing self because of the character flaws and failures of others is part of the freight carried with the lower nature. Ancient Israel tried this same tactic, and even became so convinced of its validity, they coined a proverb: "The Fathers have eaten sour grapes, and the children's teeth are set on edge" (Ezekiel 18:2). In other words, we are suffering because of the sins and failures of our parents.

Propagandists have long known that if a lie is repeated often enough, it takes on vestiges of veracity, and undiscerning minds begin to accept it as truth. Our depraved nature is willingly ignorant in this area, and finds great comfort in accepting such a quaint and catchy proverb. What a relief to our conscience to conclude: "I'm not so bad after all, and the problems I do have are because of the failures of my parents." "Just think what I could have been had I not been so unfortunate as to be saddled with such faulty parents!"

God Holds Us Accountable
However, God will not allow us to live in such a fanciful world contrived by the flawed thinking of our depraved hearts. In Ezekiel 18:5-23, the Lord takes away the foundation of our self-justification, and reveals we are wicked because we choose to be, not because of influences or forces outside ourselves such as fallible parents.

In this passage, the Lord emphasizes the personal accountability of choice and specifically denies that a soul is doomed to repeat the sinful habits of his parents.

In Ezekiel 18:5-13, we are introduced to the example of a righteous man who has a son who fails to live righteously, and in fact chooses to deliberately reject the Godly example of his father and instead follow the inclinations of his lower nature. What is God's assessment? "Shall he then live? He shall not live: he hath done all these abominations; he shall surely die; his blood shall be upon him" (Ezekiel 18:13).

Later in Ezekiel 18:14-20, we see the opposite extreme. In this instance, a father is a wretched example for his son, choosing to live a wicked, profligate and sensuous life. Is this son locked into a helpless and hopeless future because of parental failure? Quite to the contrary: God points out that if this son takes note of his father's sins, and purposes in his heart to be different than his father, choosing to live a God-pleasing life, he will not be punished for his father's failures. ". he shall not die for the iniquity of his father, he shall surely live" (Ezekiel 18:17).

Individual choice and accountability is the rule in God's Kingdom, not an unbroken and inescapable chain of generational sin and punishment. Ezekiel 18:20 states this principle well: "The soul that sinneth, it shall die. The son shall not bear the iniquity of the father, neither shall the father bear the iniquity of the son: the righteousness of the righteous shall be upon him, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon him."

Repentance is the Key
In Ezek. 18:21-23, personal repentance is shown to be the exclusive way of escape from God's judgment. Regardless of personal failure as a parent or as a child, any soul choosing to repent will find refreshing, cleansing wells of God's mercy and forgiveness. It is not God's delight to judge and condemn, but to restore and reclaim. Therefore, only the stubborn, obstinate heart of man consigns him to experience judgment. He is personally, individually responsible for his fate regardless of the peccability and culpability of his parents.

Scriptural Example
Personal responsibility as a ruling principle in God's economy is illustrated more than once in Scripture. "The fathers shall not be put to death for the children, neither shall the children be put to death for the fathers, every man shall be put to death for his own sin." (Deut. 24:16).

In 2 Kings 14:6, the Deut. 24:16 text is repeated as a reason to explain Amaziah's actions. When he took the throne, he executed the murderers of his father, but he deliberately allowed the children of the murderers to live because of this ruling principle of God's economy. Other passages such as 2 Chron. 25:4, Jer. 31:29-30 and Isa. 3:10-11 illustrate the same truth of personal responsibility.

It is on the above basis that no one can legitimately abort a child who has been conceived as a result of rape or incest. Just as the son of a murderer cannot be executed, neither should the child of a rapist or of one committing incest.

Our Future Depends On Our Choices
The perfect, just and impartial judgment of God (Romans 2:9,11) removes the strident complaints against one's parents as a justification for personal sin. No doubt long litanies of inadequacies can be documented in the testimony of a parent. However, that son or daughter can still choose to live right and please God. One may evoke sympathetic emotions from friends, neighbors, relatives and counselors because of the awful parents one may have, but you can still choose to live a different, God-pleasing life. Rahab did, and so did Abraham and Ruth. In their lives, all they knew was idolatry and heathen behavior, but each chose to live for God instead of following the example of their parents and family.

A child with improper or permissive upbringing may have significant obstacles to overcome, but he can do it by the grace of God! He does not have to repeat the sins and habits of his parents. If he instead chooses to blame the faults of his upbringing for his poor spiritual condition, he will find an unsympathetic God, for He has already spoken clearly on this issue.

A Sobering Message in the Midst of a Reformation

By Cult Pastor Williams

Jeremiah 6:9-30

Jeremiah began his ministry as a prophet in the thirteenth year of Josiah (Jer. 1:1). He is known as the “weeping prophet.” Jeremiah 2-12 are messages given during Josiah’s reign. Chapters 2-6 cover the first five years of Jeremiah’s ministry which would have been the earlier reforming campaign under King Josiah (13th to 18th years as king).

It was not until after Josiah’s 18th year that the temple was cleansed and the book of the Law was discovered and read to Josiah by Shaphan the scribe (2 Kings 22). Jeremiah 7-9 are the messages delivered in connection with the cleansing of the temple and the discovery of the book of the Law. Chapters 10-12 are the messages delivered in connection with the more drastic reform which followed upon the discovery of the book of the Law.

2 Kings 22 gives the details of the Judah’s reformation under good King Josiah. Josiah was a very Godly, sincere man that experienced true revival in his heart. 2 Kings 22:2 “And he did that which was right in the sight of the LORD, and walked in all the way of David his father, and turned not aside to the right hand or to the left. 2 Kings 23:25 “And like unto him was there no king before him, that turned to the LORD with all his heart, and with all his soul, and with all his might, according to all the law of Moses; neither after him arose there any like him.” Josiah wholeheartedly sought to rid the land of all forms of idolatry and wickedness. However, as the nation was concerned, it was a mere following of a popular king. The people’s hearts did not wholeheartedly turn to God. Their true condition is revealed in Jeremiah 3:10 “And yet for all this her treacherous sister Judah hath not turned unto me with her whole heart, but feignedly saith the LORD.”

Notice four elements in this message of Judgment to the people of Judah:

I. The Deplorable Condition of God’s People

A. Given to Covetousness
Jeremiah 6:13 “For from the least of them even unto the greatest of them every one is given to covetousness; and from the prophet even unto the priest every one dealeth falsely.” This was not isolated to a certain group. The majority of God’s people were guilty of breaking the 10th commandment (“Thou shalt not covet” Ex. 20:17).

To covet is not being content with what God has provided. Webster 1828: “A strong or excessive desire of obtaining and possessing some supposed good” Notice that is says they were “given to” which means they were under its control. It had become a life dominating sin. They were never satisfied and had a constant desire to have a little bit more. Does this not sound familiar? The advertising market today makes millions on people’s covetousness. Many are in debt today and having to work many hours of over time to make ends meet. Many mothers have gone into the work force to the detriment of the family. Paul had to address this matter of covetousness in 1 Tim. 6:6-10 “But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and raiment let us be therewith content. But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.”

B. Deceptive
Vs. 13b “...every one dealeth falsely.” Lying and deceiving had become so prevalent that even the spiritual leadership was guilty. God’s people had lost their integrity from the spiritual leadership down to the common man. No one could trust each other. The prophet and priest could not trust the people and the people could not trust the prophet and priest. Are we any better off today? It is getting more and more difficult to find honest, sincere people of integrity even amongst professing Christians from pastors down to the layman!

C. Self-Confident
Vs. 14 “They have healed also the hurt of the daughter of my people slightly, saying, Peace, peace; when there is no peace.” They were going on with their lives as if nothing was wrong. Prov. 30:12 “There is a generation that are pure in their own eyes, and yet is not washed from their filthiness.”

D. Brash
Vs. 15 “Were they ashamed when they had committed abomination? nay, they were not at all ashamed, neither could they blush: therefore they shall fall among them that fall: at time that I visit them they shall be cast down, saith the LORD.” They were not ashamed over their sin to the point where they could not even blush. Prov. 30:13 “There is a generation, O how lofty are their eyes! and their eyelids are lifted up.” They were simply too proud to admit they were wrong. How often are we ashamed and broken over our sin? How often are we guilty of covering our sin as if nothing happened? How many believers today sit by the hours and watch the filth on commercial television or by video without a bit of shame because they have become so desensitized to sin. Are we really any better off than the people of Judah in Jeremiah’s day!

E. Disobedient
Vs. 16 “Thus saith the Lord, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls, But they said, We will not walk therein.” God very clearly instructed His people to walk in the old paths where is the good way. We would call this the “old fashioned way.” How did they respond? “We will not walk therein.” This was bold faced disobedience to God! God has given us the “old paths” to follow in His Word with commandments, instructions, warnings, admonitions, promises, principles and examples. However, so many of God’s people today refuse to walk the “old paths” and are on the paths of ease, compromise and worldliness. They desire a religion of ease without surrender. They want the “grey area” rather than the black and white so clearly spelled out in Scripture. They want the privileges and blessings of Christianity without having to bear the cross. They want things fast and easy without the daily discipline. They want to pick and choose what they want to obey in God’s Word without having to be accountable to the whole counsel of God. Disobedience was prevalent in Jeremiah’s day and it has not gotten any better in ours!

F. Willful Rejection
Vs. 10,19 “To whom shall I speak, and give warning, that they may hear? behold, their ear is uncircumcised, and they cannot hearken: behold, the word of the LORD is unto them a reproach; they have no delight in it...Hear, O earth: behold, I will bring evil upon this people, even the fruit of their thoughts, because they have not hearkened unto my words, nor to my law, but rejected it.” They were guilty of the serious sin of blatant rebellion and rejection of God’s Word. God’s people were truly in a deplorable condition before God and they were not going to get by with their sin!

II. The Dreadful Judgment of God’s People

A. Fury of God
Vs. 11 “Therefore I am full of the fury of the LORD; I am weary with holding it in: I will pour it out upon the children abroad, and upon the assembly of young men together: for even the husband with the wife shall be taken, the aged with him that is full of days.” The fact that God was “weary of holding in” reveals God’s longsuffering and mercy. However, God’s patience had run out and he was now ready to pour out His judgment on His people.

B. Stumblingblocks Layed by God
Vs. 21 “Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbor and his friend shall perish.” Notice several things concerning these divine stumblingblocks:

1. What would be the results of these stumblingblocks?
Vs. 21b The people would fall on them and perish

2. What was the source of these stumblingblocks?
Vs. 22 It would be from the “north country” and would be a “great nation” which was Babylon.

3. What was the description of these stumblingblocks?
Vs. 23 “They shall lay hold on bow and spear; they are cruel, and have no mercy...”

4. What was the response to these stumblingblocks?
Vs. 24-25 Anguish, Pain and Fear!
Hebrews 10:31 “It is a fearful things to fall into the hands of the living God.”
Having described the coming judgment on His people, God gives a plea to them.

III. The Determined Plea to God’s People
Vs. 26 “O daughter of my people, gird thee with sackcloth, and wallow thyself in ashes: make thee mourning, as for an only son most bitter lamentation: for the spoiler shall suddenly come upon us.”

A. A Plea to Brokenness
God told them to put on sackcloth, to wallow in ashes and to mourn over their sin! This is so vividly seen in the repentance of the city of Ninevah. Ps. 51:17 “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.”

B. A Plea to Repentance
This plea is found in Jeremiah 7:1-6. In Vs. 3, God said for them to “amend your ways and your doings, and I will cause you to dwell in this place.” True repentance of sin is confession and forsaking of the sin. Prov. 28:13 “He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.” It also involves turning from the sin and doing what is right and pleasing before God.

What would happen if they did break over their sin and repent?

IV. The Delightful Promise to God’s People
Jeremiah 7:7 “Then will I cause you to dwell in this place, in the land that I gave to your fathers, for ever and ever.” God would hold back the judgment He was going to bring on them and instead would allow them to remain where they were.

We need to keep in mind that these people were under Godly King Josiah. Reformation was taking place in the land. Outwardly, they were following Josiah and things looked good on the surface. What about underneath? Prov. 15:3 “The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.” God saw their hearts and what was going on behind the scenes of that “Reformation.” Jeremiah 3:10 “...Judah hath not turned unto me with her whole heart, but feignedly, saith the Lord.”

God saw how they were at home, at work and behind closed doors. All outward show of reformation did not impress God! He saw their covetousness, self-confidence, brashness, disobedience and willful rejection of His Word. That was what really was going on, regardless of how good the outside looked.

Jeremiah 6:20 “To what purpose cometh there to me incense from Sheba, and the sweet cane from a far country? Your burnt offerings are not acceptable, nor your sacrifices sweet unto me.” They were very religious and were trying to wrap their ungodly ways in a cloak of spirituality, but God had rejected them (Vs. 30).

For what was God pleading with His people? This involved two things: Brokenness over their sin and Repentance. What was coming if they refused to get right with the Lord? The Judgment of God was imminent! This same warning of Divine judgment comes to our churches today. 1 Peter 4:17 “For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God...” The Lord our God is not interested in our outward show (church attendance, conformance to dress standards, giving, service or lip service to Him) when our hearts are not right with Him.

If we want to have God’s blessing on us and to escape His judgment, then our only course of action is to be broken over our sin and to repent. Let us quit playing church. Let us quit deceiving ourselves into thinking that God will overlook our sin as long as we are involved in Christian service and outwardly conforming to Christianity. Let us be open and honest before God about our true condition and how we fall so short, and then fall before Him in brokenness and sincere repentance.

Let us get past that facade that impresses those around us and deal with what is really going on underneath! It is only then that we will go from mere outward reformation to genuine transformation and revival of heart that honors and pleases the Lord.

Accountability For The Christian Pilgrim

By Cult Pastor Williams

Accountability in the Christian life has become a forgotten truth for many on the Pilgrim journey. Content with their salvation experience, and therefore knowing they will be in Heaven one day, some Saints of God presume on God's mercy by living self-serving lives, giving little or no thought to their responsibility to please their Savior.

Their reasoning would be outlined something like this: my sins are forgiven past, present and future. My genuine salvation experience guarantees my justification and future glorification (Rom. 8:30). Since nothing can separate me from the love of God (Rom. 8:31-39), why should I be overly concerned about being spiritual?

This line of carnal reasoning can be expressed in the vernacular expression: "I have my fire insurance against Hell, so why worry about how I live as long as it is not scandalous?"

Does God save us only to let us go on in our self-serving ways? Is God a patronizing, indulgent grandfatherly sort who winks at our daily indiscretions and cares little about that time period between our salvation and the time we arrive in Heaven? To observe the careless and carnal Christianity that would characterize much of modern Christendom, one would have to conclude this is true.

Do we indeed have a responsibility to "fight the good fight of faith" (1 Tim. 6:12), to mortify our members upon the earth (Col. 3:5), and "grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ" (2 Pet. 3:18)? Is fighting against sin and wicked habits only for those few zealots who take their faith too seriously, or is the process of sanctification and growth in grace a responsibility that is incumbent upon every child of God? The philosophies of this Laodicean age notwithstanding, the Scriptures indicate we are accountable to grow and change away from fleshly, self-serving ways to God-pleasing ways.

Scripture holds before us a negative example called the carnal Christian to warn those who would be at ease in Zion and choose to shrink back from spiritual conflict and growth. Paul describes the carnal Christian in his first epistle to the Corinthians (1 Cor. 3:1 - 4:5). These justified believers were living inexcusable, wilful, fleshly lives. They were stunted and undeveloped in their Christian experience, and their failure to grow in grace was being reflected in the strife, sectarianism and division in which they were involved. Moreover, such believers are sometimes indistinguishable from the natural man (1 Cor. 3:3).

Does God wink at such behavior in His children? Does He conclude carnality and lack of growth is of no consequence? Quite to the contrary, Paul points out that not only will such behavior result in damage to the individual believer and to the church in which he is involved, his spiritual delinquency will culminate in a loss of rewards: "If any man's work shall be burned, he shall suffer loss: but he himself shall be saved, yet so as by fire" (1 Cor. 3:15).

That God may presently discipline and chasten His children for carnal, self-serving behavior is manifestly demonstrated in Scripture:

1. For those who harm the integrity of the local church: "If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy" (1 Cor. 3:17).

2. For those who come unworthily to the Lord's Table: "For this cause many are weak and sickly among you, and many sleep" (1 Cor. 11:30).

3. For those who lie to the Holy Spirit: "And Ananias hearing these words fell down, and gave up the ghost: and great fear came on all them that heard these things" (Acts 5:5).

4. For those who persist in unrepentant sin though disciplined: "To deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus" (1 Cor. 5:5).

5. For those who persist in acts of sin: "There is a sin unto death" (1 John 5:16).

Believers live a nonchalant, irreverent pilgrimage at their own peril. Based on the above passages, it is clear the Lord expects righteous behavior and spiritual growth from His children. Justified souls are at risk of God's disciplining attention if they choose carnal and worldly behavior. Such discipline may take the form of physical illness or physical death (as in the case of Ananias and Saphhira).

Unrepentant believers who have chosen a lawless way of life may also experience forfeiture of their privileges in the Kingdom. Obviously, a redeemed soul will enter the Kingdom, but if disinherited by the Lord on the basis of his/her carnal, self- serving testimony, that redeemed soul will be excluded from co-regency with the Lord and will be "cast into outer darkness" (Matt. 22:13-14). Many redeemed souls are called to the wedding supper, but few attain to its felicities and blessings because they have chosen an unfaithful way of living for Christ.

This New Testament truth was first illustrated by God's people in the Old Testament. When over two million Israelites began sojourning in the wilderness, most of the adults were justified (the exceptions would be the mixed multitude who left Egypt with the people of God). These were the same Hebrews who had put the blood of the Passover lamb on their lintels and doorposts (Exo. 12:1-36). They were justified by believing God's revealed Word and acting upon it.

However, though justified, they were carnal, unbelieving, rebellious and worldly. These same justified Israelites tempted the Lord no less than ten times in the wilderness, culminating in their final act of unbelief and disobedience at Kadesh-Barnea. They refused to enter the Promised Land and even planned to stone Joshua and Caleb for their faithful minority report (as apposed to the majority report from ten spies which discouraged the people).

What then was the experience of these carnal Old Testament saints? They were disinherited ("Ye shall not come into the land concerning which I sware to make you dwell therein" Num. 14:30), by being excluded from their promised inheritance, the Land of Palestine (see also Num. 14:12). They were disciplined by the Lord "as ye have spoken in mine ears, so will I do to you" (Num. 14:28). And the form of this discipline was physical death: "your carcasses shall fall in the wilderness" (Num. 14:29).

Notice also the discipline was according to privilege and responsibility. The ten spies giving an evil report died immediately of the plague (Num. 14:36-37). Following their demise, all the rest of the congregation over twenty years of age (In God's economy, children under twenty had not yet attained their majority), were sentenced to die premature physical deaths in the wilderness over a span of forty years (Num. 14:29-35).

Thus, many were called (over two million Israelites were called out of Egypt), but few were chosen. Only Caleb and Joshua escaped discipline, death and disinheritance because of their willingness to follow the Lord. Only these two faithful saints took possession of their inheritance! Their faith and resolute obedience to the Lord were sorely tested inasmuch as they had to stand alone against two million other believers who were hurling pejoratives, epithets and threats at them. Had it not been for the glory of the Lord appearing in the Tabernacle (Num. 14:10), they were also planning to hurl stones! The path of obedience chosen by Joshua and Caleb was a lonely one fraught with deadly perils and indescribable pressures, but one which was richly rewarded by the Lord (Num. 14:24, 30, 38).

Prominence, notoriety and authority has no mitigating effect of God's discipline of His own. No matter what one's station in life, no matter what one's position in God's family, no matter how long one has walked with God, God's child is still obligated to love, serve and obey Him with all his heart, mind and soul. In fact, greater light, experience and authority in God's family brings greater responsibility! "For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required" (Luke 12:48). Moses is a case in point, and reaffirms the truth God is no respecter of persons.

After 120 years of exemplary obedience, including an intimacy with God, and power and authority from God that was unparalleled, Moses was disciplined. This sobering account from Numbers 20:1-13 ought to have a chilling effect on any believer who believes he has spiritually attained, and is now exempt from God's chastening hand. Writing about 1500 years later, Paul warned, "Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed, lest he fall" (1 Cor. 10:12). Though the meekest man on earth, though a type of Christ (Deut. 18:15), though he had been miraculously preserved, elevated and used by God for over 100 years, Moses was disciplined with disinheritance (he could not enter the Promised Land), and with premature death because he struck the rock instead of speaking to it.

A clear understanding of our responsibility and stewardship is surely needed in this Laodicean age of loose living, identification with the world, contemporary music and carnal, self-serving testimony.

Paul was steeped in the Scriptures, and having a clear understanding of our appearance as believers before the Judgment Seat of Christ wrote, "Knowing therefore the terror of the Lord, we persuade men" (2 Cor. 5:11). Even as an Apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ he wrote, "But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway" (disapproved, disqualified = a loss of reward) 1 Cor. 9:27.

If Moses was disciplined, and Paul feared discipline and the sobriety and awful reality of the Bema Seat, it is foolhardy, presumptuous and irresponsible for us as believers to live fast and loose lives as if we will never give an accounting. Heaven may be your home, but depending on how you choose to live your Christian life, you will be reigning with Christ in His Kingdom, or you will be ashamed at His coming and suffer irrevocable, irredeemable loss. We are saved by grace, but our works and choices as a Pilgrim will decide the outcome of our appearance at the Judgment Seat of Christ, our reward and the form of our participation in the Kingdom.

Addicted to the Ministry

By Cult Pastor Ronald Williams

"I beseech you, brethren, (ye know the house of Stephanas, that it is the firstfruits of Achaia, and that they have addicted themselves to the ministry of the saints,) That ye submit yourselves unto such, and to every one that helpeth with us, and laboureth. I am glad of the coming of Stephanas and Fortunatus and Achaicus: for that which was lacking on your part they have supplied. For they have refreshed my spirit and yours: therefore acknowledge ye them that are such." (1 Corinthians 16:15-18)

Paul is giving closing instructions and greetings in his first letter to the church at Corinth. He named several people who were a special part of his life and ministry. This included an entire family-the house of Stephanas

1. They were the first ones to be saved in Achaia. They were the "firstfruits" of Achaia.. Achaia was a Roman province which included all of Greece and Corinth was the capital. When Paul went to preach the Gospel in Corinth, Stephanus and his family were among the first converts.

2. This family became an important part of the church in Corinth. This was not because they forced themselves into a leadership role (like Diotrephes in 3 John, who wanted the pre-eminence). It says they "addicted themselves to the ministry of the saints." "Addict" means to appoint on one's own responsibility, to assign, to give oneself to, to do with devotion. Simply put, they had assigned themselves or devoted themselves to ministry. Ministry is being a servant to God and others.

This verb is in the aorist tense, meaning an action having begun from a certain point. At a certain point in time, they made a decision as a family that their primary focus in life was to live for Christ and to give themselves to serve others. It is in the active voice, meaning that the subject is the doer of the action. In other words, whenever they saw a need, they went to work to meet that need without waiting to be asked! What an incredible asset to this church-an entire family, faithfully, willingly and cheerfully serving!

3. Stephanas was part of a delegation sent by this church to meet Paul in Ephesus. vss. 17-18 They sacrificed of their time, finances and energies, and traveled from Corinth to where Paul was serving in Ephesus in Asia Minor (modern day Turkey) to help meet his needs. As a result, Paul said that they refreshed his spirit.4. Paul encouraged the rest of this church to honor this special family and to submit to their servant leadership. vss. 16, 18b

Rather than being arrogant, proud, jealous or ungrateful toward them, the others in the church were to learn from them and look up to them for their servitude and labour of love in the ministry. The word "laboureth" in vs. 16b means to toil to the point of exhaustion.

Application
We don't know the names of the other individuals and families in the church at Corinth, but this one stands out as a shining testimony. They were not known for their looks, talent or wealth. They were known for their servitude. The Lord Jesus said to His disciples, " But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant." (Matthew 23:11)

At some point, Stephanas and his family made a choice that they were no longer going to live for themselves or for the things of this world. They put themselves in the offering plate as living sacrifices. They did not wait to be asked to serve or to help meet need; instead, they willingly devoted themselves to serve God and others. It was not a begrudging, halfhearted kind of service

In Phil 2:21, Paul lamented that "all seek their own and not the things which are Jesus Christ's." They were not selfish or self-centered with their time, finances, or talents. Rather they had the mind of Christ Phil 2:5, " Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:" (Philippians 2:5) They were also like Epaphroditus, "Yet I supposed it necessary to send to you Epaphroditus, my brother, and companion in labour, and fellowsoldier, but your messenger, and he that ministered to my wants. For he longed after you all, and was full of heaviness, because that ye had heard that he had been sick. For indeed he was sick nigh unto death: but God had mercy on him; and not on him only, but on me also, lest I should have sorrow upon sorrow. I sent him therefore the more carefully, that, when ye see him again, ye may rejoice, and that I may be the less sorrowful. Receive him therefore in the Lord with all gladness; and hold such in reputation: Because for the work of Christ he was nigh unto death, not regarding his life, to supply your lack of service toward me." (Philippians 2:25-30)

The average church member is content to sit on the side lines waiting to be served. Rather than devoting himself to ministry, he is devoted to living for himself or enjoying the temporal things of this life (hobbies, career, friends, possessions, entertainment). He waits to be asked to help meet a need and may do it reluctantly but it is not with a cheerful, willing spirit. Such a selfish, self-centered spirit hampers and handicaps the function and ministry of a local church.

Oh, that each of us would have the heart and purpose of Stephanas and his family where we would addict ourselves to ministry, being conscious and observant to what needs to be done around us. This may include helping keep the church facilities and grounds clean and orderly, evangelistic outreach intercessory prayer, or helping with financial needs. God does not forget your servitude, even if others take it for granted! " For God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labour of love, which ye have shewed toward his name, in that ye have ministered to the saints, and do minister." (Hebrews 6:10)

ADORNING: OUTWARD OR INWARD?

ADORNING: OUTWARD OR INWARD?
(A Scriptural Guide for Ladies)

By Cult Pastor Ronald Williams

Unexpected Spiritual Struggle
An earnest Christian man parks his car in the church parking lot, and silently prays for God to bless the upcoming Lord's Day services. He has been acutely aware of his fleshly lapses and spiritual failings during the past few days, and he is earnestly looking forward to fellowship with the consecrated believers of his flock, worshiping his Saviour and having his soul refreshed with godly music and the faithful preaching of the Word of God . . . he wants to enter into the upcoming services, not as a spectator, but to worship in spirit and in truth.

Within moments of entering the auditorium, he happens to see a young woman of the church of beautiful form and fair features who has chosen to dress in such a way that the design of her clothing and type of material reveal the contours of her body only her husband should see. The extremely close fit of her clothing serves to accentuate the movements of her body. Because she chose to wear a low neckline and short hem, her appearance becomes alluring and provocative to the vision of every man in the auditorium. The slit in her skirt reveals momentary sensual glimpses of her thigh with every step.

Now the Brother who sincerely came to seek the face of God, refresh his soul and worship his Saviour, finds himself in an unexpected battle with his flesh. His spirit seeks to avoid gazing at the Christian woman, whereas his lower nature wants to gaze upon her. He becomes so distracted in this conflict between his flesh and spirit that at the conclusion of the service, he feels soiled and defeated that he allowed his eyes to feed his lustful imaginations, and that he displeased his Saviour in so doing. His yearning anticipation of spiritual blessing in the worship service has unexpectedly ended in distraction and spiritual struggle.

A Scriptural Solution
First Century Christians faced similar situations as the illustration above. Peter, explaining the effect of the "grace of God" (I Peter 5:12) on believers, taught how that supernatural, enabling grace helps believers to rise above living "natural" lives, and to live supernatural lives; lives that are contrary to our flesh and to the ways of this world.

In that section of his epistle explaining how ladies must submit to lost husbands (I Peter 3:1-6), he goes on to detail how ladies ought to "adorn" themselves (I Peter 3:3-5). Just as a lady who follows her flesh will seek to assert leadership of her home, she will also adorn herself in the ways of this world. Natural and supernatural behavior are sharply contrasted in this portion. A woman utilizing the grace of God will be submissive even to a lost husband, and will dress in God-pleasing ways, whereas a woman failing of the grace of God will resist, supplant or ignore her husband's authority, and will dress in ways conforming to the values, fads and fashions of this present world.

"Adorning" comes from the Greek noun "cosmos;" a harmonious arrangement or order, the world or universe being divinely arranged. In its verb form, this word gives rise to the English word "cosmetic," and especially in its modern use, means to decorate or garnish. However, its Biblical sense is to arrange, or put in order (a divine order). Thus, the modern "cosmetics," while they do arrange in a certain order, are a corruption and a distortion of the idea of "adorning" if that "order" is not ordained of God.

Contrasting Adornment
In I Peter 3:3-4, there is a contrast between fleshly, worldly adorning and the adorning which pleases God. This contrast is set in sharp relief by the prohibition "Let it not be" in I Peter 3:3, and the antithetical, positive command "let it be" in I Peter 3:4. Even more clarity is given to the reader by contrasting the sphere of adorning: "the outward" sphere in verse 3, as opposed to "the hidden man of the heart" (the inner sphere of man) in verse 4.

In other words, a woman failing of the grace of God (either a lost woman or a carnal woman), will primarily focus on externals (verse 3), whereas a godly woman, who utilizes the grace of God, will primarily focus on internals (verse 4).A lost or carnal feminine heart finds pathetic and degrading emotional value in being the object of masculine attention and sensual gazing. This is a pitiful and debasing corruption of what God intended. Ostentatious, gaudy, immodest and brassy women are universally condemned in Scripture. That these undesirable traits are natural is demonstrated by Peter's negative order "let it not be" in verse 3. In other words, a feminine heart bereft of the grace of God will naturally focus on externals to some degree; some scandalously so, others to the norms of popular culture at that time. Peter is saying, "Do not do what is a natural inclination for your fallen nature as a woman."

Universal Temptation of MenEvery man has "eye" problems because he has "heart problems." Proverbs 27:20 says, "Hell and destruction are never full; so the eyes of man are never satisfied." Just as hell and destruction are voracious and insatiable, so are a man's eyes. They are the primary gateway of exciting his libido, and that is why Job said, "I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?" in Job 31:1. He had no need of making a covenant with any other bodily mechanism because his eyes were the source of his temptation insofar as women were concerned. Though a man is fifteen or one hundred fifteen, he has "eye problems." Though physically incapable of committing acts of immorality, a man's eyes can bring sinful lust into his heart. It is understandable, with these Biblical truths in mind, how even godly David was tempted with regard to Bathsheba, because of what he saw!

That a man is tempted by sight is no excuse for him to think or act in a wrong way. By the grace of God and through self-control, he can and must resist this temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13). How sad and incongruous that men coming to church services must resist looking at many Christian women who, either ignorantly or knowingly, by their dress have become a sensual object of temptation for the eyes of every man in the auditorium.

At what do most men of this world look when given the opportunity? Simply observe the eyes of men in public places where many people are coming and going. In such a public thoroughfare, notice the objects of their lustful and salacious gazing: women who are dressing and acting boldly and immodestly. Notice also that women who are dressed in clothing that is long, loose and layered (so as to conceal intimate contours and features of her body) receive little or no attention from those same lecherous men.

Any godly woman must candidly ask this personal question: "Why would I want men looking at me with lust in their hearts?" Unless you, for some perverted and pathetic reason, deliberately desire to be the object of men's lustful gazing, you must purpose to "adorn yourself in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety" (I Timothy 2:9). "Shamefacedness" is a sense of shame and modesty that would prevent a good woman from ever defrauding a man and raising his carnal desires through her through her wrong dress and/or actions. "Sobriety" is that self-control of passions and desires that would prevent her from desiring to dress so as to attract the lustful eyes of men.

The Outward Reveals the InwardOne cannot take the prohibitions of I Peter 3:3 absolutely; i.e., we can never plait hair, never wear gold, etc., because this would also mean we can never wear clothing! Again, the contrast of verses three and four explain the principle for us: emphasize internal godly character as opposed to shallow, corruptible and worldly outward features. Consequently, an insecure, worldly and carnal feminine heart concentrates on her externals, (dress, jewelry, fashions, cosmetics, etc.), whereas a godly woman attempts to focus primarily on the development of inner character qualities. To put it another way, the externals of a woman's life, whether godly or ungodly, reflect the state of her internal, or heart condition. When one sees a gaudy, provocative and immodest woman, she is revealing a shallow or non-existent spirituality within. When one sees a hard working, submissive and quiet-spirited woman who is modestly dressed, she is demonstrating or reflecting an inner godliness (I Timothy 2:10).
How a woman acts and dresses reveals whether she is pleasing self (the one who concentrates on adorning the external), or whether she is attempting to please God (development of modesty, order and godly character is of high value to the Lord - I Peter 3:4). Dressing and acting as a woman of this world will most assuredly rivet the persistent interest of lustful men, whereas adorning your heart and life with Christian graces and virtues merits the approving attention of a Holy God!

Note that Godly graces of the heart are "not corruptible" (I Peter 3:4). In other words, a soul and its hard-earned virtues do not decay. Voluptuous and sensual sex objects of this world, no matter how beautiful, no matter how alluring, will all undergo the corruption of death. Their beauty and sensuality will be quickly despoiled by the worms and decay of death. That which men view as an object of lust will corrupt and decay. That which God counts as valuable will live on through the ages. How foolish to spend concentrated, laborious hours in front of a mirror to gain a certain "look," to spend vast sums of money on cosmetics and stylish clothing, to assiduously solicit the salacious gaze and desire of men, when it lasts for such a short time before it is corrupted? It is with good reason the king's daughter is all glorious within (Psalm 45:13). "The King's daughter" emphasizes her inner man, which with her redeemed soul pleases God into the ages, and does not cease with death.

Nothing is a more beautiful adornment to a Christian wife than a meek and quiet spirit. No deformity is more outrageous or unsightly than its reverse: a discontented, peevish, domineering and fretful spirit. As one man has said, "This latter spirit is hateful everywhere, it is nowhere more hateful than in a woman, in no woman so hateful as in a wife" (Proverbs 27:15, 25:24, 21:19).

How beautiful the wife who in the midst of the endless perplexing and frustrating details of her household and marriage, maintains an unruffled temper, and in Christian patience, possesses her soul!

Outward behavior reflects inner character of soul just as an external pulse represents an internal heart beat. Dear Sister, when you adopt the fashions and fads of this world, you are demonstrating by your outward behavior, a leanness and anemia of soul. Moreover, if you possess a comely figure and fair features, you are also responsible for placing a stumbling block in front of every man who views your exposed and provocative figure. Is the degraded gratification you receive from the lustful stares of men worth being responsible for defrauding them, tempting them to lust, and debasing your own soul? This would be forsaking Divine approval and Heavenly reward for a mess of pottage.

The daughter of Sarah (I Peter 3:6) will reject immodesty, no matter how popular with this world. Gaudiness, impropriety and boldness are shunned by her with the same determination as she would reject adultery. Modesty is always in style for godly, charactered women.
A daughter of Sarah would be horrified with shame to be the object of a man's lust. Rather, she is seeking to please her Heavenly Father with her modest dress, quiet temperament and servant spirit.

Arguments To Get A Believer To Quit

by Cult associate Dave Halyaman

One of the severest trials Judah's King Hezekiah faced was the overwhelming invasion of Judah by the Assyrians. Toward Jerusalem alone King Sennacherib sent 185,000 battle-hardened veteran soldiers to surround the city and begin a siege. What's interesting about this story is that the Assyrians didn't attack. They mounted the siege, and then launched a propaganda and terror campaign to get the Jews to capitulate.

In 2 Kings 8, a military leader named Rab-shekah wanted to intimidate God's people with words in hopes of getting them to give up. The many arguments he uses are some of the same ones Satan uses today to get believers to quit. We can better resist evil when we are not ignorant of Satan's wiles. Let's consider three of his arguments:

Trusting the world instead of God
Rab-shekah first upbraided the Jews for seeking an alliance with Egypt(v.19-21). He said trusting Egypt was like leaning on "a bruised reed"---in other words, it was no help at all. This is certainly true! When--- ever--- has the "world"(which Egypt is a time of) helped God's people? The truth is, the world never has---nor will! It is an enemy of God(James 4:4). Yet when they face a trial, so many Christians today seek out the world's help, instead of God's. We ignore Bible principles on finance and instead seek out loans and borrowing. They seek so-called "Christian" psychiatrists instead of their pastor. They follow humanistic philosophy rearing their children instead of relying on God's Word for help. No wonder the pagan world "blasphemes" God today. Anytime God's people seek the world's help, they can expect to have that same world "blaspheme" God....just as Rab-shekah did here.

Being criticized for doing right
A second argument Satan uses to discourage us in in verse 22. Rab-shekah mocked Hezekiah because he cut down the groves and torn down the idols that dotted the land(v.4). Ridding the land of idolatry was a good thing...and commanded by God many times. Yet, God's man was criticized for doing what was right. The attack was for Hezekiah to doubt right actions. The world often mocks God's people who stand for right and take godly action. But sadly, many backslidden believers mock solid Christians, too. It is a common tactic of the devil to discourage the believer who decides to believe God and do right, and he'll often use other Christians to do it. One man said: Live according to the Bible and even the fundamentalists will call you weird".

Circumstances instead of God
Another argument was that the Assyrian army was huge...in fact overwhelming. This was true. In fact, humanly speaking, there was no way the Jews could survive an attack. Satan's ploy this time: look at circumstances instead of God. Satan wants us to take our eyes off God and on our problems. Does this really work? If you were really discouraged during your last trial, ask yourself: Where was I looking when I was most discouraged? If you think about it, you were probably focusing on the problem...instead of God. One of my favorite verses to dwell upon in a crisis is Deuteronomy 20:1 "When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God is with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt."

Right responses
There were other arguments by Rab-shekah...each of which was designed to get God's people to surrender without a fight. More significant than the arguments, however, were the responses by Hezekiah in Chapter 19. Notice that Hezekiah first humbled himself before God(v.1a). He knew he was in trouble, and he knew humility was the first step toward God's help. When a trial hits a church, a family, and organization...even a nation, God's looks for it's leaders to humble themselves. What a difference that would make in America if our leaders humbled themselves before a holy and righteous God!

Don't go it "alone"
Secondly, Hezekiah went to God's house. Today, this could mean getting around Godly people of like mind. "Riding out the storm" alone is not always a good idea! Yes, our help is from the Lord...not men! But God may use Godly Christians to help us shoulder the burden. Even Moses needed an Aaron and Hur sometimes.

Bible has the answer
Thirdly, He sought the answer in God's Word(v.2). At that time, they sent to Isaiah the prophet because he spoke for God. Today, we must seek out help from the scriptures.

There is always an answer in the Bible! We may seek help from our pastor to find the answer, but the Bible always has something to say about our problem!

Helplessness vs. Confidence
Next, they acknowledged their helplessness(v.3). They were hopelessly surrounded. There was nothing they could do. And they admitted this to God, and this opened the door to God's action! I believe this: sometimes God doesn't help...until we realize we need His help! If God seems silent during your trial, could it be He senses too much self-confidence?

Who's getting the honor?
Lastly, Hezekiah put God's glory and honor above everything else(v.4). They wanted His honor and reputation vindicated, not their's! How often do we want God to act and help us because our honor and reputation is at stake? We are more concerned about getting what we want, that honoring the Lord. More than success in battle or answering our petitions, God is interested in His name being magnified. He is more interested in how we respond during a trial than delivering us from the trial!

Oh, how our feelings can be hurt! But keep in mind, if we are truly "dead in Christ", then it won't matter what people say or do to us in a trial. It will only matter how we respond.

Satan has some modern-day Rab-shekah's around...trying to disrupt and discourage. Respond with silence to them...but dependence toward the Lord.

Alica Hamilton...

My name is Alicia Hamilton. When I was sent to Hephzibah House (HH) in the fall of 1989, I had just recently turned 12 years old and my last name at that time was that of my stepfather, “Cornish”. When sent to HH, I was not in any trouble with the law; I had not yet had any boyfriends; I hadn’t done or even ever seen alcohol / drugs. My childhood “problems” only began after my mother married a man who began to physically and emotionally abuse me when I was 6-7 years old. Driving into the grounds of HH for the first time, I saw a simple but large white house with a church on the side and lots of fencing. My parents said little as we were quickly ushered to the upstairs room, the room where I would receive many beatings in the next 20 months to come. My memory begins to play tricks on me here, as there are some things that I VERY VIVIDLY recall about what happened to me during my stay at HH, and then other daily things that I have completely forgotten about. I do remember the initial trauma of my HH experience was being told that I would be there for 15 months (at least), and more importantly, I was told that I could not have contact with my grandparents (with whom I lived from birth to age 6 and were like parents to me).

Upon “orientation” Several of William’s family members went through my items with me and began marking them. I was told I could not have some of my belongings and I was stripped of the clothing I had, put into an itchy polyester outfit and the rules further explained to me, I remember saying “Oh my god!” and Heather, one of the Williams’ daughters, slapped my face and told me “we do not use the Lord’s name in vain here!” I was told that I will be learning to be a child of god and to become a Godly woman, and as such the dress code was explained to me among other rules. Much of my memory has repressed the details of daily life but I do remember being spanked “for being disrespectful” that very first night for questioning the food I was served (it was some kind of strange soup). On my first morning of HH, we were woken up very early, and of course after not sleeping most of the night I did not awaken easily. A staff lady ripped my sheets off me and later that day I was paddled again, this time for disobedience.

One of the more unusual things about HH’s rules is that as I learned upon my introduction to the living quarters, there were certain girls there that I was allowed to talk to and others that I could not even make eye contact with. This concept was incredibly strange, not being able to even LOOK at another girl. I was spanked many times for looking at girls I should not have looked at. Initially, I was limited to talking with a few girls, then they allowed me to talk to everyone…for a while….I will explain more about this later.

The most important thing that anyone should know about HH is that no girl has any privacy; even the one large bathroom was watched vigilantly by a staff member, and though we did have “stalls” for showers and the toilets, our time monitored closely (Just imagine, “Alicia you’ve been on the toilet for a while are you constipated?!” being loudly questioned in front of all the other girls in earshot), sanitary napkins were inspected and we were told to account on a public chart for what kind of bowel movement we had that day. We had a specific shower time, and we were herded into the shower stalls and given a short amount of time to get ready and then the timer was set: Three minutes to take a shower. Most of the time my shower was last and the water was cold so it wasn’t so bothersome, but I felt bad for the girls that had a lot of hair to wash and condition in such a short amount of time.

Fear was constant, most often it was the fear of intense pain and humiliation. The spankings I received were random (sometimes I’d be spanked 1 to 3 times in a week sometimes none for a week) so I was always on edge. The spankings were very ritualistic: I would be forced to lay down, a chair was placed over my head while either Ron Williams or his Wife Patty Williams, or in other situations I believe his son’s wife (Wanda?) would spank me. There were usually three staff members present to hold my feet and arms. After getting me on the floor and holding me down, whomever was going to do the spanking would pray for me, and then sometimes they would wait for what seemed like minutes before administering the punishment—I think it was to add to the fear I felt as I just wanted to get it over with. I personally felt they enjoyed being sadistic in the times they slowed the process down, to show us the power they had over us.

My first couple of spankings were 7 swats each time, and I cried in great pain, as they were very severe swats, and after the beatings I discovered severe bruising and sometimes welts with blood droppings oozing from the welts. Sometimes they missed my buttocks and hit my spine and this left very painful deep bruising. I had heard of a girl that had been there right before me that they deemed unable to help so I thought maybe if I was “too hard to help” that they would let me go early too. So, at my very insightful 12 years of age, I decided that if I didn’t cry during the spankings that they would think I was unable to be helped and that they would let me go. So when would get spanked I would try not to cry at first, biting my cheeks until they bled to fight the urge to scream, but I learned that this just led to more swats, usually 14 at which point I was certainly wimpering, but once I counted 21 and after that particular beating I was covered in welts and they were bleeding little droplets of blood, more blood than any other beating. I was so uncomfortable to sit or sleep that I was on very good behavior for the next week but I still somehow managed to get paddled again despite my best efforts to follow all the rules perfectly, and this time I cried immediately.

During the first few months at HH, I went to bed hungry many nights and fantasized about food and far away places. One of the ways that we were punished is to be denied dinner, which could be very difficult after several hours of performing vigorous chores, and for me that occurred at least 3 to 4 times a week; Instead of eating food, I was forced to drink a protein drink which was not mixed properly, and though some of the girls did not mind the drink, I had to gag it down. I dreaded these drinks. Dinner was taken away for just about any reason so it seemed, usually I did not pass my chores or do my “church notes” or memorize very long passages of bible verses well enough to earn my supper. And on the note of chores…The cleanliness standards that we were held to were above those of any 5 star hotel I’ve ever been to. When it came to work and doing the chores, I actually tried very hard to do them correctly (I hated that protein drink!) and would still fail. Again, I believe that this was yet another way for the leadership of HH to exert their power upon us and keep us insecure, afraid, and ready to embrace their extreme religious agenda.

Another note about the food, there were some very unusual meals that we had to eat along with many pills we had to take. Many of the “soups” they made were just a bunch of unmarked cans thrown into a pot together and the soups that arrived from this method were disgusting to say the least. I remember being unable to eat this soup a few times without throwing up, I could not eat it all at once. When at HH, if you did not eat all your food, it was served as your next meal. Cold. I had many cold, mystery soup breakfasts and dinners there. I lost a lot of weight and began to have irregular periods (I actually had my first period on my 12th birthday and was regular until a few months into HH). They gave us a lot of vitamins at HH as well, and I recall to this day an unusual reaction some of us had to the vitamins: the reaction was what we were told was a “B” reaction. I had over a dozen of these reactions and they always occurred after the mornings breakfast and during “devotional” time; what would happen to me is that the skin on my entire body would become red and burn for about 10-20 minutes then it would go away. Other girls could see if I was having a “B” reaction and I could see if they were as well as the skin would become very red and flushed. The staff explained that it was the body’s way of removing excess vitamin B from the system. It happened to some other girls as well and was random.

After about 4 months there at HH, I’d say around Feb of 1990, I was placed on “Shadow” status for about nine months, I remember this because I got off of it right before thanksgiving. Being shadowed was psychologically and emotional torture. Literally, I was not allowed to talk to any other human being or look them in the eye and I had to follow a staff member around 24/7 (including sleeping right next to one). Being “shadowed”, it was extremely humiliating, dehumanizing, and it served the purpose they wanted; they broke my spirit…I think I went a little crazy during this time, living in fantasy land, coming up with imaginary friends...If I was desperate enough to interact with another human being, I could ask for some “religious counseling” about some passage in the bible and get some conversation that way, but it really wasn’t what I wanted to talk about considering that all day and all night was religious indoctrination. Fortunately, I actually found some of the Old Testament gory and barbaric enough to be interesting, and I remember discussing with one of the staff ladies some of the stories and the meaning of why god wanted his armies to cut off the foreskins of his enemies, which often just got me into trouble (even though I was discussing scripture, I was not to “question it”). This, “do not question” rule I specifically learned when I questioned a staff member about Lot and how he basically murdered his daughter, and I was, in so many words told that “as you see this is gods way of showing us your role as a woman; women are not as important as a man and woman are flawed because of Eve’s sin this is the lot you bear; that you do not understand that by now is troubling” and I had to write some 500 sentences about my place under god and man. Sentence writing, by the way was another form of punishment. I probably wrote some ten thousand sentences over the course of my 20 months at HH and that is not an exaggeration.

So I learned to conform. I learned how to ask the right questions and how to appear submissive, weak, and without any will of my own. Sometimes I fear, that there were weeks that went by that I really was that way---they were stealing my soul and I was loosing any sense of individuality. We went to church at least three times a week. We had to sing in the choir, a choir in which we spent countless hours practicing and were ultimately recorded and tapes were made and sold with my / our voices on them. Since singing (and I have an awful voice) was the only time I could use my voice during my period of being shadowed, I sang with vigor. To become un-shadowed, I had to prove I was godly so I tried everything I could, I got baptized, I wrote profusely long church notes, I memorized extra bible verses, and so on and son on.

During my time of being shadowed, I became very sick. If one became sick with the flu or with the cold, no medicine was given, even though I remember a time when I was very sick with a high fever with vomiting. Even though I was throwing up, I was forced to drink the protein drink, I remember this vividly, I was nearing the end of the glass, then I gagged it all up, along with bile my stomach as I dry heaved into the into the bucket I was allowed to carry around with me. Ms. Saylor (Spelling?) made me drink my vomit out of the bucket, which took over an hour and I was very tearful. Later that night, with a high fever and still being very ill, I was paddled.

I was finally allowed to be off of being shadowed, and it was so strange to speak to another human being. I felt incredibly insecure, as if I didn’t know how to act anymore, what is the right thing to say or not? As I got more and more used to the routine and fast paced schedules of HH, the time began to go by faster, mostly because they kept us so busy.

Regarding some of the “chores” we had to do, I believe that I was exploited for labor, along with other girls. When staff discovered I had skill working with my hands and that I could crochet with fine thread and read / interpret complex stitching designs, I was given the task to make hundreds of these little figurines and cross stitch projects which were sold / traded for goods to benefit HH’s financials. I was 13 when I was making these things, and my curse was my speed and ability to do good work. Sometimes the demand was so high for these crafts that making the crafts was my only chore and I’d crochet for an entire Saturday or be told to do it during school hours. This was actually a job that girls wanted as it was more appealing than scrubbing the entire dorm floor on your hands and knees, but after doing it so much, my fingers and wrists would begin to really hurt. Also, though I never had to, I know other girls were sent upstairs to clean the Williams’ house. Near the end of my stay, when I was seen as “reformed” and “godly”, I was actually transported beyond the walls of HH, I was sent to a church “officials” home to clean and renovate, it was the Keagan’s (?) home I believe and my job was to remodel their kitchen and home. I used sanding paper and arm strength and worked for hours to sand off the old varnish and paint from their cabinets and then we stained and prepared the ‘new’ cabinets. We painted their home, we did their gardening….While at HH, I even had to “clean” a deer carcass killed by a car that the Williams family ate for many meals I imagine. I remember feeling misused but too afraid to do anything but the best of work and to do it with a smile on my face.

In short those are the most significant memories that come to light about my experience with this place. I indeed feel that HH abuses girls’ on a physical, psychological, emotional, religious and spiritual level. The isolation and fear tactics they use are powerful and the results, while short term may be successful, they leave a lasting impact.

As a disclaimer, I want it to be known that after “release” I was forced to write a “testimony” about how great HH was and how much it helped me. My stepfather sat down with me and pretty much wrote the testimony; After being there for 20 months and finally being “free” I was so afraid that if I did not do what they wanted me to do that I would be sent back, and my worst nightmare was having to stay there until I was 18. So whatever HH sent out as my “testimony” way back when…Those were not my words, they were forced.

Newly surfaced material...

Dear Reader, I am not online and therefore I do not check emails. May you find Christ and leave the internet and television alone. Read your Authorized King James Bible diligently and obey it. Ask God to show you the old paths (Jeremiah 6:16)--the old way of living and worshipping God. Look for the old ways--Father working, Mother cooking, cleaning and caring for the children. You will find rest for your soul and a whole new world will be opened to you. You will be changed at your root. We have almost lost our manhood and womanhood--our deceptions are great but the word of God will deliver us if carefully applied to our lives. God made man to rule the world. Man was destined for greatness. May the men reading this understand that they are the image and glory of God. Repent of your sins, hide the word of God in your heart and rise to who you were made to be. Get out of debt (including your house note) for the borrower is servant to the lender (Proverbs 22:7). Woman, clean your house and teach your children at home from the Authorized King James Version of the holy scriptures. That book will give you the foundations/rudiments of everything in all of creation and every subject to be studied--Language Arts, Geography, Counting/Mathamatics (e.g., Geometry), History, Botany, Law, Economics, Science (e.g., Chemistry)--everything. Embrace Genesis 1:1-2:7 as your outline--read it to your child regularly. By God's grace and almighty power, babies can read while they are still in diapers. Two year olds can praise God and his Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. Three year olds can read the Authorized Version of the scriptures. Four year olds can learn cursive writing. Five year olds can expound the word of God. Little children can exercise Biblical discernment and be wise. They can choose righteousness because they can see and feel its excellencies for themselves... On this website, there were times that I knowingly did not use proper English grammar. Pleae forgive me for this transgression. If you have a problem acessing any of the files resident on our server, try capitalizing the file name...etc....

This is how a certain website, jesus-is-lord.com, begins. We here at hephzibah-girls.blogspot.com reject this kind of theology and separate from these sorts of liberals.

Jesus-Is-Lord.com features many articles about various "fundamentalist concerns," many of which one might find interestingly linked to Hephzibah-house itself...

Satalite Images...

Gabriella's Story...

My name is Gabriella Fleury, and I am a former Hephzibah House student. I was at Hephzibah from August 1989-November 1990, and I was there for the entire 15month program. Upon my arrival at Hephzibah House, I was strip searched by one of Ron Williams' daughters. It was humiliating to me to have a girl who was only a few years older than me watching me take my clothes off and then checking me to see if I had anything with me. On my first or second day at Hephzibah House, I underwent my most traumatic experience there. I was taken into a closet/dressing room in the dorm area, and I was forced to undergo a very personal female physical examination. There was a man in the room, but he was never introduced to me, and it was never explained to me what he was going to do. I remember very vividly how scared I was just laying there hoping it would be over soon, as I gritted my teeth and dug my nails into the palms of my hands.

During my stay at Hephzibah House, I managed to keep myself out of trouble, and I quickly became one of the "garden girls." I was fortunate enough to be on an outside work crew, so I was spared many of the daily activities inside the house. However, being on an outside crew, I was worked like a dog. I would literally miss days of school in order to help with some building or cleaning project that was going on. I would also get back to the dorm in the evenings after the other girls were in bed for the night. I would be awakened in the middle of the night to help clean road kill that was donated to our facility. I would help to clean and process many deer that had been hit by cars; however, none of us girls ever got to eat one bite of that venison. I always viewed the food and meals at Hephzibah as a form of reward and also punishment. I often had severe headaches while I was at Hephzibah House, and the first time I had one, I "complained" to the staff nurse that I needed to take something to help my headache. The solution then was to make me stay in bed all day with no meals. I was forced to drink a broth-like substance for all three of my meals that day. In addition, I missed a day of school and also was not allowed to speak to anyone for the entire day. I had several occasions in my first months at Hephzibah where I had a chore that did not pass the white glove inspection. Since I failed a chore, I also had my evening meal withheld as punishment. Once I earned a spot on the garden crew, I never had to miss a meal again for a failed chore, but I did have to eat my meal during an allotted time. I had a few occasions where I just could not eat all of my meal in the specified amount of time, and the food from that dinner was saved and then re-served to me for breakfast the next morning. It was served on the same plate, cold, and hardened from a night in the fridge. I had to finish that meal and then quickly eat the regular breakfast meal as well, in order to avoid having my leftover breakfast served to me along with my lunch.

I was 17 years old when I arrived at Hephzibah, and up to that point I had been menstruating regularly. After the first month at Hephzibah I never had another monthly cycle for the remainder of the 15 months. I thought it was odd that I had completely stopped having my period, but I was afraid to voice my concerns to anyone, especially our staff nurse. I was afraid that I would get in some sort of trouble, or be forced to eat or take some sort of herbal supplement or vitamin, as was common practice for anyone who had an ailment. The same can be said for the "BM chart" that we were forced to mark daily. I knew anyone who did not mark that they had gone regularly would be forced to take flax seed and cod liver oil.

I turned 18 after about 7 months at Hephzibah House. I requested to talk to Ron Williams to tell him that I wanted to go home. He did speak with me, but he told me that I was not ready to go home. I was forced during my entire stay at Hephzibah to write letters to my parents, pastor, and to Hephzibah board members saying that I was happy and that I was thriving spiritually. Each of these letters was read for content before being sent out, and all incoming letters were read as well and only passed on to me if they met the requirements, and often the letters I received had large portions blacked out with a permanent marker. I never had an unmonitored phone conversation with my parents the entire stay, and I only had one 10 minute phone call per month to speak with my parents.

The worst thing I remember from my time at Hephzibah is the humiliation and isolation of each of us girls. We were almost "played" against each other because we were all striving for, and would have done anything for, staff approval. We had to earn every little right or privilege that we had, but we knew it could be taken away with no explanation whatsoever. We were forbidden from talking about our lives before Hephzibah House, and we were only allowed to talk to another girl if we had staff permission, and if every word of the conversation took place within earshot of a staff member. We had very specific talking lists which outlined exactly who was allowed to talk to whom. There were girls there who seriously went months without speaking to a single should excerpt for staff. That was one of the scariest things that I felt loomed over my head...having any speaking and socialization privileges taken away. I knew it had to be extremely lonely to live that way. I saw girls who were shadowed for months on end. I was shadowed once personally, but it didn't last very long. I'm sure they missed me on the work crew, so that's why they decided to drop that punishment. While being shadowed, I was not allowed to face any other girls but had to face the wall instead. Of course, I could not speak to anyone except the staff member who was shadowing me. All of us girls, shadowed or not, had to be escorted to the bathroom. We were only allowed to use the bathroom at assigned bathroom times, and that was it. If I had to go at any time other than a regularly scheduled bathroom time, I just had to hold it. There were girls who could not hold it, and they were forced to wear depends or diapers. The staff took every opportunity to humiliate them in front of the rest of us girls for their laziness and rebellion because of their lack of bladder control. There was a girl who was there with me, who would frequently wet the bed. Every morning the staff ladies made a big production of checking to see if she had wet the bed or not. Then she would have to hurry and strip her bed and wash her sheets while still getting ready for school in the allotted amount of time. None of us girls was allowed to help her get her bed stripped, washed, and remade. Sometimes during the night I was allowed to get up out of bed and wake the staff lady who was guarding the door near the bathroom to get permission to use the facilities. If the staff felt like too many girls were getting up for potty breaks during the night, then they would change the rule to only using the bathroom during specified breaks in the middle of the night. If you didn't go during one of those breaks, then you didn't get to go at all. The rule for potty breaks overnight fluctuated between those two policies while I was there.

I mentioned the one time that I got shadowed. That is also the one time that I got spanked while I was at Hephzibah House. There was a student who was at Hephzibah with me, and she stayed on after she had completed the program and became a sort of staff member. I had been working on the outside crew with her for several months, so I felt like i knew her (to the best of my ability as we were closely monitored). Ron Williams had a son who also worked closely on the outside crew with us. This student and the Williams boy started secretly "dating" each other. Now, bear in mind that they never once left the premises together, they never kissed, and they never even so much as held hands. But the Williams family believes in arranged marriages, so this secret "dating", which was nothing more than a crush, was strictly forbidden. Their relationship came to light somehow, and it also came to light that I had known of it. I was awakened in the middle of the night and brought into the closet where all of my belongings had been strewn onto the floor, and all my drawers had been emptied. I was questioned over and over as to what I knew about this relationship. I honestly didn't know much except that the two "liked each other." I was told that I was lying, and that I was being rebellious and deceitful in allowing this relationship to continue. After being questioned by several staff ladies I was allowed to go back downstairs and join the other girls. But from the moment I went back downstairs I was shadowed. I thought that was the end of my punishment, and I was upset about not being able to work outside or to talk to any other girls at any time. A day or so later I was called back upstairs into Ron Williams' office. I was scared to death. When I had originally been questioned, Ron Williams was on the road, so I didn't have to face him. But this time he was in the room waiting for me. He sat down with me and begin asking me the same type of questions over and over again. I didn't have anything new to tell him. Apparently I was not giving him the answers that he wanted to hear. I remember 2 other staff ladies coming into the room, and I knew in that instant what was about to happen to me. Even though I instinctively knew, Ron Williams explained it to me anyways. He explained how the rod of correction cleanses away the evil from the soul, and he quoted a bunch of Bible verses. I was forced face down onto the floor of that office, and my arms were straight above my head. One staff lady knelt on and held my arms while another staff lady held my legs. At this point Patti Williams was in the room, and she spanked me while Ron stood by and watched. I don’t recall how many times she hit me, but I remember that she was talking during the whole ordeal. She was very angry, and I could feel her anger each time she hit me. I was crying because of the pain and embarrassment, so I guess it was assumed that I was sufficiently broken, so she stopped hitting me. After the whole ordeal was over, I had to immediately sit down with Ron Williams while he talked to me again and told me how that was God's will that I be punished to rid my soul of its wicked ways. I was very sore, and it hurt to sit down and talk with Ron. I hurt for days after that. I was still being shadowed, so I was not working outside; in fact, I would have had a hard time doing the heavy labor we were required to do outside after I had just received such a brutal beating. After a few weeks, I was no longer shadowed, and I was put back on the outside crew. The rest of my time at Hephzibah House was pretty much uneventful. Of course, there were all the days being surrounded by uncaring and uncompassionate staff members.