Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Anonymous: Survivor!

Ok..this is bringing back some bad memories, but I thought maybe I should go ahead and share a certain experience.(I hope I will be able to remain anonymous????)

While I was a student there about 6-7 years ago I remember there were two scheduled bathroom breaks during the night. A staff lady would hit your mattress once or twice to let you know you could use the bathroom if you needed too...and if you didn't wake up, tough. You didn't dare get out of bed at any other time or the lights and alarms would go off.

One night I woke up a couple of hours before a bathroom break was scheduled...and I had to go very bad. I laid there and suffered in tears for at least two hours because I didn't dare get out of bed. One morning another girl had to go to the bathroom really bad but the staff made her stand by her bed and wait until all the girls were out of bed and ready to get in line. Well, this girl didn't make it...she wet herself right in front of us all. For the rest of the time she was there they made her wear depends and at every bathroom break a staff lady would check her to see if she was wet.

I remember one day in particular when a staff lady ridiculed her in front of all of us girls. Not long afterwards, she was sent away. The rumor was she was sent to a mental institution. I could forgive for the time I spent there...but it is hard to forgive for that. She was such a sweet girl...and she played the piano like an angel. I wish I knew where she was now.

As far as spankings go...I did not recieve any spankings while I was there. I do not know if an other girls did...if so I never knew about it. I think for legal reasons they may have stopped that practice. But there are other forms of treatment that can hurt just as much...humiliation, loneliness, etc. I remember just aching for one little hug.

I do know there are girls who have been helped there...perhaps they needed a firm hand. But all girl's do not need "hard love"...most just need gentle love. It was as if we were all put into a mold based on the hardest girls that went through their system.

I think they truly mean well, but they are treating all girl's like I said, like we are all the same, and that the same thing will work with each girl. But it won't...and in the end I think some girl's are being more hurt than helped.

Sorry this got so long. I have pushed it all aside for so long that I guess this became a vent. Thanks for listening.