Thursday, July 2, 2009

Tracy Cormack: Survivor!

I was a student at HH from 1989-1990.

I was sent there by my adoptive mom who had abused me since I was 4. She broke my arm 3-4 times and disfigured my arm so that now it is 3 inches shorter. That isn’t even the worst of it all.

Anyway, I was sent there when I was 13 and I might as well have been home with my mother. I was spanked regularly. Remember me stating about my arm well the chair was shoved on me and pushed up so that my arm was above my head and my arm does not have that kind of range of motion. So before the beatings start I was already in pain.

I remember my head being shoved onto the floor because I didn’t see the piece of dust that the staff member saw because I questioned her on why I failed. Food was withheld if chores were not and we forced to drink so broth looking junk. We had millions of pills to take.

My period did not come for 6 months at least. BM charts were filled out. We also had to fill out period charts of when we started and stopped. No privacy at all.

I was held back in school because I was not up to the grade level that I should have been. Then to beat all, one of the former staff members moved back home to my hometown and became a member of my church. Every time I saw her I was lectured on what I was taught at HH and was drilled on why I was not following Ron Williams teachings. Then was told I was a sinner still and going to hell because God didn’t approve of me wandering away from what I taught. I guess if the Williams knew that I am divorced and gay then I would be on the fast track to hell.

I know what God says and is about. He is about love and forgiveness not pain and retribution. He doesn’t think women are second class citizens and I really doubt he thinks you should beat an infant into submission. Maybe Ron’s problem is that he didn’t get beat enough when he was a kid.

What’s up with the money thing? Is that how they supported their brewed of children? I often wandered how they got to eat meat every night while we ate salads, Swiss chard, and mystery soup. Now I know. I do remember some of the Williams' children being nice like Daniel and Aaron, but the rest were something else.

1 comment:

  1. I love you. You are strong, beautful and a wonderful person. Nobody should ever be treated like this and if Ronald Williams is one of God's people, there is something seriously wrong with our world.
    I send my love to all Hepzibah House victims. Together we will fight abuse.