Saturday, January 16, 2010

Nikki Poindexter: Survivor!

I was there at HH from Oct-02 thru March-04.

When I turned 18 on Sept 4 of 2003, I asked to speak with someone about leaving. It took me a total of 6 months to actually leave that forsaken hell hole! I went through hours of Don, Ron, and the Halamyns (sp?) talking to me about why I needed to stay and reasons that if I had left now that I would be breaking a promise I made to God, and I would lead a life of "worthlessness.”

I was told that if I left that I wouldn’t have their "blessing"(what a joke right?). I remember being told that school work was the #1 priority there at the school when we first came there. I was devastated that I would be going through these PACE packets and learning very little, because cleaning other staff members houses were more important!! (These people were just LAZY!!)

I unfortunately did not finish my schooling while I was there. I came home and received a GED. The sad part is is that before I had been going to public school I was doing very well and on my way to graduating. I can still hear the cries of many of the girls I spent so much time with. There were nights in the dorm room where I would just beg and plead for these girls to receive peace. I laid in bed so nervous of what the next day might bring.

Were we going to have a scream fest from Patti (damn nutcase)? Were our chores not going to pass the white glove inspection? Were we going to eat rancid food? Was I going to have to down bottle after of bottle of magnesium citrate and then not be able to have permission to go to the bathroom? I could go on and on like so many other of us women.

I lay in bed still to this day and pray and beg God to bring this awful place to the ground, because as I'm writing this... There is a girl missing her mother, a girl wondering what she did so bad to deserve this, a girl who cries herself to sleep night after night, a girl who is mentally abused, a girl who is physically abused,a girl who is mentally abused!

I do have one positive thing that came from my stay at HH, and that is a bond that will forever be strong and unbreakable with some of the best women you could ever meet. Those girls that shared those bunk beds,those girls that share my stories,those girls that are there for me whenever I need to talk, I am thankful for every last one of them!!


  1. sounds like your putting on a pity party for your self. grow up and move on get a life !

  2. It's funny to hear the expression pity party because that was one of the favorite sayings of HH staff! Wow what a coincidence you used their phrase.

  3. Anonymous said...

    sounds like your putting on a pity party for your self. grow up and move on get a life !

    Sounds to me like you are an evil pathetic excuse for a human being Patti or Ron, you are both vile pieces of human filth! It's bad enough that you tortured these women but now you come here and post this garbage. Rot in hell!

  4. Too bad these people don't have the balls to post in their names...always hiding behind anonymity... My name is Shelly Merideth-Adams and I was abused at Hephzibah House too!!!

  5. I'm all for free speech, but this is a private site. It's a site for shading light on the abuses and getting the word out, but also for recovery. And I believe you should consider not letting the abusers or their supporters do more damage for people who are trying to heal.

  6. Ignore the cruel comments from those who don't know what the word compassion means, they are to be pitied. I really feel for you and the evil you were subjected to. This 'school' needs to be closed down, why hasn't it been?

  7. Because justice works slowly...and many times, because they may have some troubled backgrounds it takes so many of them coming forward before anyone believes and takes them seriously. I am speaking generally, not specifically in regards to HH. This country was founded on the idea of freedom, to keep those in power and those with privilege sort of in check it was decided that there should be a separation of church and state - sadly, I don't think it occurred to anyone at the time that there might be a problem when people were being harmed and abused by churches/religious leaders, and what to do when those employed or doing business with the state had individuals who were also doing harm to people and abusing children/vulnerable individuals while they were being paid to 'care' for them. And when humans are involved, there will always be a few who will be the ones who do the inevitable harm. They don't all drive a rapey-looking van, nor are they lurking in the park bathroom waiting to strike. They look pretty much like the rest of us until one sees their true nature up close, sometimes only a hint, but still their true nature and up close.

  8. Jeanette Merchant6/9/15, 3:52 AM

    That's right Nikki! The HH ladies are the strongest women I've ever met in my life. The bond I feel with all of you is so strong. Ron never did count on something like the internet bringing us all together.

    I, too, hope that someday the FBI raids that place and we see Ron cuffed! What I wouldn't give to see him walk the perp walk in orange on the news someday.